Why I Had An Affair With My School Teacher [Read More]

His name was Paul... He was a coach at my high school. He taught and also coached for the high school football team, as did my dad. The coach was much younger than my dad but the two constantly had to work and interact with each other. I'd find myself at coaches cookouts with my parents. They were fun to attend-- regardless of the fact that most of the men there were teachers at my school. They always knew me well and would joke around with me at school. I was a sophomore at the time so everyone still pictured me as a kid. Hell, I was a kid. Paul was married-- had been for about 3 years when this all began. 

Ironically, Paul was the one coach that I did NOT get along with. He was stubborn and arrogant and very smug about everything. We would smirk at each other if engaged in a conversation in which we disagreed with each other. We rarely agreed on anything. I was placed in his general intro health and PE class... You can imagine how annoyed I was at the time. 

Surprisingly, the class was not terrible. I enjoyed sports and display a very competitive side, so I took advantage of the class. I showed off any chance I had, in attempts to irritate him. He was super competitive as well so we constantly tried to one up each other. It started becoming more of a friendly competition and we would challenge and push each other. I started to realize that maybe he wasn't terrible. 

Soon, we were talking more at after school practices. My dad was oblivious. I'd take him breakfast occasionally and vice versa but there was no real flirting. I was only 16 and he was 26 so we were sincerely just friends. That semester came to an end and I didn't have his class anymore, but I still kept my tennis equipment in his office so I still was able to go by most every day and we would chat. Occasionally on bad days I'd go by and we would talk about football or watch ESPN and just hang out. 

Jr year he came to a few of my tennis matches and would come by every now and then when my tennis practice and his football practice ended and he would play a few games with me. Of course, we were both still super competitive. I'd see him at festivals in town and he would smile and wave or chat for a few seconds. When I traveled for the football games we would spend most of the rides there and back talking.

Sr year-- I was placed in his class once again but for an advanced training class offered only to Varsity athlete seniors. I immediately resumed bringing him breakfast and we would alternate days. We'd play hard during class and for some reason I was just beginning to notice how attractive he was and the small crush I had developed on him. My friends were infatuated with him but I pretended to be above it and scoff at them. 

  He came to school one day and told me that he and his wife were expecting. I was sincerely happy for him! At this point, I considered him a good friend. He had talked me through a break up with a long term boyfriend, helped my narrow down prom dress choices, gotten me out of a few detentions. My best girlfriend mentioned one day that she noticed he would flirt with me. I had never noticed it. Then she added, "It's just weird how you look like his wife and he flirts with you." I had never noticed that either until that point... but we did. His wife had the baby later that year and he would constantly show me pictures or tell me stories about him. But I noticed he rarely mentioned his wife. And if he did it was brief and tense.

He came to my graduation and we added each other on Facebook only weeks after graduation. A few chatty messages passed and that was the extent of it. Then we exchanged numbers and texted a bit. I would still go help my dad at football practices so I would still see him from time to time but around all of the other coaches and my dad we would still act like we were just former student/teacher pals. 

Then one night we had both had a few too many drink and started texting one another. Flirting led to questions which led to plans and photos... I felt quilty but without telling him that he tells me everything: about the fact that he and his wife were having issues and that he wasn't so sure they were going to work them out. He said he had had a thing for me since I took his class during my last year of high school and that he had thought about this before.

The next morning we both realized the severity of what happened and agreed that it was a mistake and we should just drop it. We did... Until I saw him at football practice and he kept making eye contact with me from the other side of the field. I got weak at the knees when I thought about those texts. He messaged me from only feet away and said he meant every bot of it and that he wanted it all to happen. 

The next few days we talked about when and where and how.... and eventually we met, at his house one day when his wife was at work. I felt incredibly guilty but being with him made me flutter. I had developed a huge crush on him. He was the stud of the school and one of my best friends. We fooled around and had sex that day and decided that it happened and that it was over. We just needed to get it out of our system once. 

But that didn't quite happen as planned.... it continued, rapidly. We would meet at all times and places. In his house, at a house he was house-sitting, at the football field house, his office, my car... at any time during the day. He was my first and I fell deeply deeply in love with him. He would say that he and his wife were on completely different pages and that she never even noticed if he was gone. 

At this point both of my parents knew that he and I were friends and would text or message each other occasionally but they assumed that was the extent of it. 

This continued for 2 years... into my first two years of college. He landed me an internship with the team surgeon and medical staff so I could still have a reason to go to all of the practices and meetings and games. He was still married and I tried like Hell to branch away from becoming so attached to him. I tried dating other guys but they never worked out. Paul would become insanely jealous and become distant for a few days. It had turned into a full blown affair/relationship. 

I would see his wife and son (now 3) at the games and have to act like everything was all okay. One time at a camp, he had brought his son to practice because his wife couldn't watch him. I spent the day "babysitting" and playing with his son for hours while he coached. It was super straining to have to play two different roles depending on who he was around. After three years of it, and not being able to vent to my parents (or anyone else) about everything, it just started falling apart. We realized we had both gotten far attached and that it needed to end. But we still kept meeting up, knowing we were only making things harder on ourselves. 

One fight kind of triggered all of it. An announcement popped up in my news feed that he and his wife were expecting another baby. The last I had heard was that they weren't even getting along. We met up and I said "Paul, we can't keep doing this. I love you... but this is a mess." I said more and I'm not sure if he was angry or upset or whatever but he responded with a cold-- "I don't think you should be calling me by my first name... it's not appropriate." 

That broke my heart. After years of us having a relationship, him being the person I lost my virginity to, and acting as best friends, he told me not to address him by his first name....

I quit the internship and was able to move at the end of the semester to transfer to a college 3 hours away. We completely cut things off that day. I travel him occasionally to see my dad coach on the really big games and I have to see him. We never make eye contact... passing each other like we're strangers. It's so weird. That's the worst broken heart I've ever received. I know it's the dream of any high school girl to have an affair with their hot teacher. Don't... so many regrets on that one.